If your project is truly “engaging the conversation” about literacy acquisition, it must be speaking to Gee/Brandt/Alexander in at least one of these three ways: affirm, add, challenge. And you probably want to be doing at least two of these things. What do your peers think you might do here, based on the evidence you’ve provided in the draft? Is there other evidence in the narratives that you’ve left out of the draft so far? Be specific about what your narratives reveal and what you think your might say about literacy acquisition through that data?
Source introductions. Do your peers think you have enough “introduction” of G/B/A in the draft? Do you have too much? And what about your naming of the literacy narratives? Alexander offers little stories of her examples; Brandt offers richer descriptions so the reader has enough information to understand her analysis. In a short project, one should not repeat the details from the narratives, but the reader probably needs some description/context. What work do you have in this area?
Evidence. We must have actual passages from both our scholarly sources and our literacy narratives. The scholarly sources help signal the conversation you’re engaging; the narratives are your support for the ways you’re engaging the conversation. It is entirely reasonable to need to find and consider additional narratives, to need to dig more deeply into those one is using, and even to read parts of Brandt or Alexander that are relevant to one’s project but were not originally assigned to the entire class! What do you need to do in this area?
After reading my comments from my peers Katherine and Noah, they gave me a lot of insight on what they believe is great in my essay and what I could improve on as well. One point that they both talk about is Literacy acquisition. As an elementary education major it means something different for me then to someone who is an English major. As an education major literacy acquisition is what you want your kids to achieve, understand, and what they are going to take away from these lessons or standards. They also commented on how I did an excellent job on connecting myself into the literature and the assignment.
With my work on Gee, Brandt, and Alex, Katherine says when I talk about my literacy sponsors I should be tying in quotes from Brandt that can support my literacy sponsors texts. the more support and scholarly articles I use in my essay, the stronger it will be. Katherine also said, “Here is a great place to connect Brandt and her idea of a sponsor “surprising information” to a student” she showed me where in my essay where I can support my weaker areas by tying in quotes from the scholarly articles.
I feel I have great evidence supporting my essay. I have three types of different of evidence. I have evidence from the scholarly articles from Gee, and Brandt to help support my weaker areas in the essay. The next way that I support my essay is through the rising cairn archives where I can relate my personal experiences which is the last example with stories from other people.