Revise Draft for Barclay and TRIAC Assignment

Revise Draft for Barclay and TRIAC Assignment


Every single day we are asking questions to each other and ourselves. Some of these questions have answers while others may never be answered. After reading Rising Cairn I tried to find some stories that I can relate about literacy acquisition in a topic that interests me as well. As an elementary and secondary education major I began my search by adding the tags education and teaching. Many students of all ages, when writing about their literacy narratives usually discuss a favorite or least favorite teacher, or a impactful moment when they were in school whether that meant empowering the student in a variety of strategies or acquisitions, or whether the students felt like a victim or intimidated because they were scared of asking a question in class because they felt vulnerable. I found three narratives in the Rising Cairn archive. The three stories are unique in themselves but they share the same thread when talking about education and teaching about literacy acquisition.

-The paragraph above is my opening paragraph to my essay involving the two scholarly articles from Gee and Brandt and I also include three literacy narratives from the Rising Cairn archive. The above text is my edited version. I added some details and I changed around the wording as well to make it flow better. Because it is my opening paragraph I didn’t really need any impactful quotes because I am just trying to introduce my topic and get the reader to know where I am going with this essay/assignment. I overall like my first paragraph and I do not want to make any major changes to it.

As for Gee and Brandt, it’s very unique to incorporate themselves into these three article posts from the archives. Ge see literacy on a deeper more symbolic level. Literacy is more than just reading and writing. It’s the entire process that makes it up. All the small details whether it’s the sponsors or how they filter that or even the students who are learning the literacy, they are even coming with some meta knowledge. Brandt on the other hand He focuses more on the sponsorship and he would really agree with these articles because they all have a strong educator portraying the sponsorship role. ““Language” is a misleading term; it too often suggests “grammar”. It is a truism that person know perfectly the grammar of a language and not know how to use that language . It is not what you say, but how you say it.”(Gee 1). What Gee is trying to portray here is that just because we mushfake our way into a certain discourse, and we say all the things that those people then we must be in the Discourse. But really what matters is how you say to make the other people believe it. Brandt believed a lot in sponsors, “Intuitively, sponsors seemed a fitting term for the figures who turned up most typically in people’s memories of literacy learning: older relatives, teachers, priests,… (Brandt 32).My three literacy narratives coming from Rising Cairn all have to do with sponsorship whether that involves teachers, or a student teaching other students or helping them build a school.

-The paragraph above is my closing paragraph and I added a lot more work than my opening paragraph because I wanted to end strong. I added two quotes attempting to use the Barclays model by introducing the quote, applying the quote, and then explaining the quote and how it incorporates with my essay. Before I only mentioned Gee and Brandt and gave some background information about them and what they believe in. Now I incorporated quotes to support what I was saying about both of them. It strengthens the essay and provides details and a better understanding not only to the reader but to the writer as well.

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